Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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