Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize