Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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