It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
