Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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