i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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