What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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