i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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