Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
