Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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