O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
