Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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