Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
COCAINE IS GR8
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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