A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
this hospital has no fireball
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
