soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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