shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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