do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
