it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
