so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
