yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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