who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
