to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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