Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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