Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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