Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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