ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
