they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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