Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
