if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize