I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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