I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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