you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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