just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
