Only a mothe r could love this liver
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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