Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
