Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't turn off my feet"
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
