IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
nutella sex= disaster
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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