Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
