You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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