tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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