its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
