I wannas sexs uuuuu
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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