Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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