apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
