bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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