I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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