yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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