return my video game
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize