Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
