Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
