Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize