dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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