Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
