He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
