butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
