love makes seman taste better
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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