he shaved USA in his pubs
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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