ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
