he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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