you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i believe in u and ur pee
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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