wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize