I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
