I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
