I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
