When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
