she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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