At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
